Continued

realisation hurts and sucks. am i really suppose to take it all quietly? and why does it happen to me all the time? do i really want to walk away and ignore that these people were in my life at all? i dnt believe in running away, and denial doesn't mend things, it only temporarily blocks things out leaving you a confused and lonely mess ultimately...

maybe i should sit back, relax and focus on the people who make my day instead. wait... are they going to go away too? DOUBT. *sigh*

"il always be there for you"...
ALWAYS. it's a strong word. I wonder if anybody thinks before using it. Do you really know what you're saying??! or are you saying it because it makes you feel good for a second that you can make some1 else feel better for a few seconds and then forget about it?

I'll be okay. but i don't think i will forget. not too soon neway :( My mom tells me I need to stop caring so much. I've had a hundred people tell me to "stop caring so much and letting everything affect you".. "the way you take all that shit over and over... u make me sick" the best part of it all, it's true. I still haven't figured out why i do it.

no, im not perfect. there are days when i lose it. i throw my tantrums, i scream. i even cry sometimes. i let it all out and tell the person or people or whatever to go to hell.... usually on my blog where I know not everyone will read... or if i've really had it, i tell the person to go "FAL"... and then in a few hours im back to square one...

argh..i could scream.

Family. Friends. Love. I wonder if it really is "all that"... you know, those words in cards and those pledges we make everyday... Don't say it unless you mean it. Don't mean it unless you know what it means...

I know how it feels. and I don't want to ever make anyone feel this way.